apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize
