he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize
