Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
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