I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
Randomize