omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
You need a sexual gate keeper
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
