wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Randomize
