she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Randomize
