my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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