I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
Randomize
