Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
My dick has a subreddit
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Randomize
