Ever since I got married, I've become the MacGuyver of masturbation
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
Randomize
