you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
Ketchup is God's man juice
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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