Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
