Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
You made out with two different species that night
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
so much tequila, so little girl.
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