it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
