my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
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