i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
she peed on how many people?
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
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