i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
