I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
