the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
I am full of burrito and curiosity
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Randomize
