Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize
