No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Randomize
