I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
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