I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
