wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
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