i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
Randomize
