How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
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