You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
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