did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
Alive.
So much puke
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
Randomize
