she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
If I had your ass I would rule the world
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
