Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
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