She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Randomize
