which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Randomize
