Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
This toilet bowl is my home.
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