Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
There are leaves in my underwear?
Randomize
