how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
and you said cock pushups were impossible
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
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