He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
Randomize
