absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
