I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
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