Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
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