p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
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