Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
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