Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
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