after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
