planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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