tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
