last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Randomize
