The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
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