and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Randomize
