dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
Randomize