On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Randomize
