perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
