Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
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