she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
Randomize
