Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
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