Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
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