he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Randomize
