what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Randomize
