you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
