I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
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