Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Randomize
