seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
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